The Weaning Process This is the time of the year when schools reopen and there are many pre-schoolers who leave the comfort of their homes and step into pre-schools. What should we adults (parents and teachers) do to make this transition for the children a happy and easy one. We need to put ourselves in their place and think like them to understand their needs.

We at Saifee nursery school have a very gentle settling process. We take in children only after they are two years and six months old. We ask the parents not to send them to a play school but keep them at home until then. Very young children become aggressive when they are forced to share adult attention or toys with other children because they are not ready for sharing. They do not understand the idea of waiting for their turn. Thus, waiting can be a very traumatic experience for them. So, the first important factor is Readiness to start school. We adults need to see if the pre-schoolers are physically, emotionally, mentally and socially ready to start schooling.

In terms of physical readiness or independence, the children have to be completely or almost completely toilet trained before they start school. This does not hold true in case of children with special needs. Last year we had a boy with Downs Syndrome in school with very delayed milestones, so this rule didn’t apply to him. Secondly, they should be able to eat dry finger foods by themselves and hold a plastic glass of water to their own mouths and drink from it.

In terms of emotional readiness or independence, they should be able to play and "be" by themselves for a considerable amount of time. They should not need constant adult attention.

In terms of social readiness, they should be able to communicate their needs through words and gestures to the adults around them. Most importantly the parents must win over their children’s trust so that the children then transfer this trust to the adults in school easily.

In terms of mental readiness, the children should be curious about the environment around them. All children are born with this natural curiosity which is their main tool for learning and making sense of the world around them. This natural curiosity is at its peak at this age and it has to be nurtured and not thwarted.

It’s the parent’s duty to prepare the children for school by working on these four aspects. We, at school have a meeting for these parents’ months before the children actually start school to apprise them of these facts and the parent-teacher partnership begins. Many times, the parents need support at this stage with issues like toilet-training, birth of a sibling, weaning off the bottle etc. They really lean on the teachers for right advice.

Once the child is ready for school, we ask either parent or any adult the child is comfortable with, to accompany the child to school every day. The adult/parent sits in the same place in school every day while the child is free to explore the school and engage in all the activities. We specifically ask the adults to refrain from interacting with their wards but just be physically present for them, in order to facilitate weaning.

For a couple of days, the children sit near their guardians and keenly observe the activities happening around them. Then they too start going and engaging themselves in activities of their choice.

We teachers neither coax the children to engage in the activities nor allow the parents to push them. We give children the time and space to work things out within themselves and take their own decisions. We respect the children.

Soon the new children are seen in the sandpit, on the slide, around the water-play trough, in the doll-house etc. They keep going from time to time to check on their guardian but soon even this becomes infrequent. In the meantime, they begin trusting the aunties in school and enjoying the company of children in school. Then we know that the children are ready to be by themselves in school for a while. We tell the parent/guardian to say ''bye'' to the children and go out of school on some pretext for a short while and come back. Gradually this time is extended and finally the children stay happily in school for the complete duration of three hours. This is a big milestone in a pre-schooler’s life.

Sometimes there are a few tears and tantrums involved in this otherwise gentle process but we all understand the pains of growing up.